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Monday, 01 February 2010

  • Obstacle in work.....became a great molding period

    It has been a long long time(feeling as long as possible) ever since i worked there. I can't say i didn't had a good time there, but most of the time i struggled with my work, my relation with colleagues, with my boss.

    I knew i was not good enough, ever since i went there to work, i was always being defeated by my mistakes.
    I knew all those are silly mistake and if i worked in hk, these mistakes will never appear.
    But God knows everything.

    At first i didn't understand why i had made so many mistake, as if my brain does not belong to me anymore. I always so blur of many things, i struggle to understand people a lot of times. First keep taken wrong order, forgot number, can't cal money in english. Feeling like handicap person.

    Indeed, only god knows everything.......

    Since my mind always run clearly back at home, i have always perform better than others. I always picked up what they want to say before the word came out. Only receive compliment and never being treated badly by anyone around me at work.

    Slowly, i was so proud of myself of being good at everything, and sustain my confidence by my working performance and skill at work. Gradually I complain how come other people are so slow to pick up work, even refuse to work with them. I will get very angry at times, when they cannot deliver what i expected and never take the initiative to understand their problem. Only blame they are stupid people.....

    Then when i came here as a stranger to the local culture, language...I cannot relate to them at all, and really having trouble to just understand what they want to say....
    I were being put under the shoes----those i used to call stupid.
    I experience what they had experience, saw what they saw, felt what they felt.
    Immediately i wanted to say sorry to those i treated badly in the past.

    Honestly, i finally understand when you just can't, you just can't. even i want it so much, i only can improve as much as i can, but i can't eliminate the mistake at 0 point. Because i just simply can't

    This first humble my heart and also let me realize my confidence and joy should not be rely on people's compliment and respect, but from my lord.

    These days just realize, when god took away those things i treasured before, suddenly i became sad and lack of confidence.

    Thank god he reminds his love and his provision, he keeps reminding me.
    My hope is on the lord, My confidence is from the lord, my Faith is on jesus christ. My joy should come from him.

    And if all those things truly sit on him, we should not be feeling defeated or disappointed, but always stay strong in the lord.

    2009 is not a very good year at work, But he makes me see where my joy and confidence lay upon,
    he tested my faith in him, direct my trust and hope is on him at all time.

    Even now i am inadequate of many areas, he will help and change us to be sufficient to accomplish his purpose.
    Even though at times, we experience people disrespect, but god had never leave us and also encourage us to set our hope on him. Through that  he had perfect our faith on him and to walk closer in his lightness.

    So people's expectation or opinion no longer motivate us to achieve more,
     our skills or performance no longer sits as our confidence,
        but through god, jesus christ to perfect us in all areas of our life at all time,
    even right now i am inadequate.

    exodus 4:10-12
    (v10)Moses said to the Lord: "O Lord, i have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue."
    (v11)The Lord said to him " who gave man his mouth? who makes him deaf or mute? who gives him sight or makes him blind? is it not I, the Lord?
    (v12)Now i will help you speak and will teach you what to say

Monday, 18 January 2010

  • I am shocked....awaked and freed

    I asked a question to myself.....

    what if God just stand right in front of me while i am indulging all my desire..
    Am i still doing what i like or choose to stop doing what i used to do and do what is right before him

    I used to be fearful of where i am working
    used to be watching a lot of TV, drama, wasting time in all different kind of entertainments...
    used to just take care of myself only and think everyone should just take care of themselves
    used to be indulging in sadness and pain in the past

    But when god appears, everything changed
    The way he appear always comes with a choice, he gave us choice to decide whether we are determine to follow to change for him or stay where we are right now and just enjoy what he brought us.

    Tonight i have been given a choice, not that he stay back behind and ask us to put faith in him, but he appears and let us see him, then we make a choice.....

    No longer i can deny him, no longer i can run away from his power and presence
    No longer !!!!
    I want to change, i want to be awake and walk in his lightness and righteousness

    This conviction comes through this moment of my life, though it is not something impressive or dramatic, it is enough for god to display his amazing love.

    On 2009 Nov, I was challenged to move house.
    Well it may be easy for other people, but for me, the old place stored many stories behind, and i just simply got too many stuffs.....Basically financially and emotionally, i didn't think i can handle that moving on this month...

    However, God always knows what i fear of, he let me witness his power and grand me faith through those challenges.

    On Nov this time, My housemate asked me to move...
    of course my first reaction...NO NO NO NO ...
    The old place is near to anywhere and still consider cheap, plus i got my own room( quite large), why on earth i want to move. But..... ( i was thinking: if god wants me to move, then i will)
    So as expected i prayed, and the answer is..Yes

    At first i still not really sure about that, so just asked him, if that is a yes then show me more obviously
    Before that my another housemate was willing to sign the contract with me for the old place,
    but after a few days, she suddenly changed her mind and insist to move out....

    So this as if the answer from god, (Ok i move then><)
    My heart was so struggle......But as long as god desire me to move, then he must provide

    Next day we went online to look for places, interestingly, there are only one property is vacated right before our contract ended a few days. We went on inspection and apply for the place...be honestly i have no idea how come we were so confident and calm that we will get a place.

    We just wait and wait, week after weeks....
    It has been 2 weeks, they still haven't replied us....Then i just rang them up and see what happened, at first they told me my previous agent proclaim we breached the cleaning policy, which mean we may be black listed......><
    I was so nervous and just explained...then she said just to talk to the owner first and see how the owner think.
    Straight after, i just keep on praying. While i was still praying, the phone rang and  
    The lady on the phone told me:

    Congratulation! you got the place!

    Though the answer seems good, we were still hesitated since there are chances that i may lost the $1000 deposit if i couldn't find the forth girl who will be accepted by the owner. 
    But then is the agent who told us we could arrange a trial time before officially put her in, so somehow things are able to fit in.

    Meanwhile we found out we need 2 single mattress and washing machine,
    somehow coincidentally, my housemates friend wanted to sell two good condition single mattress. Perfect fit!!
    Then just right before the moving date few dates, we found a second hand washing machine come with warranty.
    So WALA things needed once again being fulfilled

    Then NEXT ......Moving and cleaning

    In here, i also want to give my personal thanks to all those who helped me out to move. YOU ALL ARE HERO FOR ME.
    Since the agent said we can move in earlier than we expected, so we will be able to move on tuesday night instead of wednesday afternoon.
    On that night, God blessed me with many man power and car power, so eventually i only need to move the furniture in the next day.

    Then on Wednesday,
    Thank you Matt, Ramesh and shawn, Not only help me to move the furniture, i know how heavy they are, but also offered to help cleaning my place>< want to cry immediately!!!!
    Thanks for their help, i can nearly finished all cleaning on the same day which unbelievably fast....( i have never experienced the cleaning finished within a day)

    In the end, Thanks for pat and derrick come over to help setting up my washing machine and TV.

    However the most amazing thing is Internet set up

    At first, i was supposed to pay 280 something for the penalty of cutting the cable service and reset ADSL if there are cable service available here. Well During the entire moving time, i had called at least 4 times and even make sure there are cable service. So i was pretty sure, we need to pay. However......it is really too expensive.
    When i was almost up to my limited, they told me to take a chance with another department.
    So i just took that chance to ask....
    Then they told me there are actually NO!!!!! cable service, so that we could get the ADSL for FREE!!!!!!

    Man! after that phone call, i just immediately broke down and stare at the air....asking" Where does all these come from"

    At that time, i really felt that god sometime put obsticle to see how we respond when things come to hit us,
    Will we stilll choose to honor him by trusting him or once again panic.

    Afterall, i am trully encouraged by all this incidences. Though there are tough time now, it is at least easier for me to have the peace in my heart and just do what he desire us to do.

    Through this experience, god taught me a great lesson:

    God 's grace is greater and more powerful than our (big) challenges

     





Thursday, 31 December 2009

  • Currently
    A New Day Has Come
    By Celine Dion
    see related

    A new day has come from 2010

    Today 1/1/2010...

    A whole new beginning, A whole new journey!!

    Soon i will move to my new home, a home that god had provided for a new journey to start.
    The past 2 two years had been a great journey with god that i witnessed all the healing and strengthening done by God.

    Truly Ehp 5:14

    "Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead and Christ will shine on you"

    He desire us to walk to him closer and closer, to be truly worthy to be called children of god, to be his reflector, to be his salt and light in this world. All this transformation, not for our own glory but is to display his love and power through our life.

    Grace and Marcy had been always with us.

    The closer i get to know God, the more i realized how much god's grace for us, reflecting our true self even more that we know we didn't deserve his grace however he still poured out for us because he loves us dearly.

    Truly his love came upon on us day by day, let's celebrate this whole new day, for our Lord sake!!

    A New Day Has Come Lyrics
    Artist(Band):Celine Dion

    A new day...ohhhh
    A new day...ohhhh

    I was waiting for so long
    For a miracle to come
    Everyone told me to be strong
    Hold on, and don't shed a tear

    Through the darkness and good times
    I knew I'd make it through
    And the world thought I had it all
    But I was waiting for you

    Hush, now
    I see a light in the sky, (oh),
    It's almost blinding me
    I can't believe
    I've been touched by an angel with love

    Let the rain come down and wash away my tears
    Let it feel my soul and drown my fears
    Let it shatter the walls for a new new sun...
    A new day has come

    Where it was dark now there's light
    Where there was pain now there's joy
    Where there was weakness, I found my strength
    All (in the eyes of a boy)=> by the touch of god

    Hush, now
    I see a light in the sky, (oh),
    It's almost blinding me
    I can't believe
    I've been touched by an angel with love

    Let the rain come down and wash away my tears
    Let it feel my soul and drown my fears
    Let it shatter the walls for a new new sun...
    A new day has...

    Let the rain come down and wash away my tears
    Let it feel my soul and drown my fears
    Let it shatter the walls for a new new sun...
    A new day has come

    Hush, now
    I see a light in your eyes

    I can't believe
    I've been touched by an angel with love

    I can't believe
    I've been touched by an angel with love

    Hush, now
    (A new day)
    Hush, now
    (A new day)

Sunday, 27 December 2009

  • God led spiritual life

    Many of unbeliever thinks christian is all about their so called "spiritual life", for them, it is just another kind of spiritual movement among all the other.

    Well not to be surprised, even some of the believer will hold a similar concept

    However Not all spiritual sensing is from God.
    Please bear in mind--> it has to come along with God discernment and wisdom

    In the beginning of my walk with god, I have been diverted into a wrong path that mistaken a demon spiritual being as god spirit. However as my inexperience in distinguish the spirit, i have got into serious trouble.
    My ignorance of god discernment and wisdom accompany with my boldness, i was too rush to want to know god and even to follow him. Through that experience, I truly can say spiritual warfare is real as like me and you and you cannot play with them when you are simply not ready.

    However god knows my foolish act and helped me to out by having a lot of church leaders and pastors to pray for me along the way. He kept remind me to read his word and know him personally and do not give up.
    Although no one knows how i feel and what i experienced in the spiritual realm, God had see me through and tell me to ask for God's discernment and wisdom.

    So though boldness for god is good, we do take carefully of our spiritual sensing
    There are times that knowing him comes far more important than other things

    1 John 4

    Test the Spirits
     1Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world.

    For some of you may think you are more sensitive to spiritual being.
    I can say "Don't think you are weird or alone, there are many like you and we all are struggling how to determine God spirit, do not face it by yourself or even run away from it, but learn to submit to god and ask god for discernment and wisdom to help to distinguish, it may take a while. Do not give up and persevere. God had loved us like others and he will help us through"

    Friends, Hold on to the teaching of Jesus Christ tightly and don't lost faith.
    Because nothing comes more than our God alone
     

Tuesday, 22 December 2009

  • christmas is.........hard...But full of love

    As i was watching a special episode of a tv show "the middle", it reminds me how we are going to prepare our Christmas day.

    This is just one of the sitcoms that telling a simple yet profound story.

    In that show, there is a family having 3 kids, day in day out, a lot of daily funny things had happened in this family.
    When Christmas comes, the mom always plans and do a lot of preparation. Every year she just complaint while she was busying with all those hassles. Then this year, her husband had suggested that he will take over the job so that she can focus on her choir practice.

    Well doesn't it sound great for the mom?, but it turned out to be some kind of weird situation.
    The mom keep asking the dad whether he thinks christmas is hard while watching him seems enjoying himself in preparing all the works.
    And even start complaining that he took over all fun jobs.

    ultimately the dad did actually messed up the whole preparation though he did finish all work but all rush them through. Finally when they all complaining to each other on their way home, they almost got into accident into twice times. After the first time, they still arguing then the second time come.....
    of course they start to rethink the whole conservation and just thanking to each other hard work and love to each other.

    Um.....So ultimately, yes we will get tired in doing lots of things and Christmas is only one of them,
    However when we think about the love we would like to give and seeing others happy when enjoying our previous work. Then everything no longer matters any more......

    SO to all who maybe in this kind of situation,
    I would like to say

    Merry Christmas
    God love you dearly






chriskaka

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